So this subject has been weighing on my mind a lot lately and when I reached out to all of you guys and asked your feelings about it the response was crazy!! So many of you feel this on the daily. Honestly, I couldn’t believe how hard we are on ourselves. I was filled with soooo many feelings that it took a bit longer to put all these words together.
So most importantly, I want you to walk away from this feeling stronger + knowing that you are doing your absolute best! Also know that YOU are enough + exactly what your little people need. I shared a few ways to help us all push through mom guilt below.
5 Ways to Push Through Mom Guilt
1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth feeling guilty about.
I think we are all so hard on ourselves even for things that really don’t matter at all in the scheme of things. For example: you didn’t stay up all night making the perfect “All About Me” poster for your kindergartner vs completely forgot about the “All About Me” poster.
2. Realize as much as you want to, you can’t do everything
This one might be the hardest for me. I want to be able to do absolutely everything how I “should” for myself, my job, and my family, but any realistic schedule is not going to allow it. For me this means…take out often fills their bellies more than a home cooked meal so we can all make it to cheer Hudson or Hunter on at a game. It means my house is often not the picture perfect clean I wish it was when Joe got home. Because instead we made it to school on time without cleaning up. You know?
3. Give yourself a mommy time out to reset and just have a breather.
Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes to just breath. To take care of your kids you have to take care of you too. Taking care of you includes focusing time on you. Whether you need gym time, quiet time, spa time, or my favorite, date night. Growing stronger as an individual + couple always results in a better you for your kids.
4. Remind yourself the grass is NOT always greener on someone else’s Instagram feed.
I have such a love/hate relationship with Instagram. Of course it plays a big part in my career which I’m so grateful for. Plus I’ve made some of my closest friends through its connections. At the same time, it is a comparison trap. I know a bunch of us often find ourselves scrolling through thinking “I should’ve done this or that” better as a mom because so and so did. We need to remember, it’s just ONE SECOND in someones life. For most, it is a place to document the happy joyful moments they want to remember, and rarely includes real life baby blowouts, messy cars, or fighting kids.
5. Make simple changes to daily life to avoid the guilt provoking moments.
A lot of the things we feel mom guilt over, can be decreased by making small changes. If you feel a lot of mom guilt about having a clean house, try scheduling a “power hour” with your kids. Turn up the music + you each bust out cleaning assigned spaces in a fun way, or come up with another cleaning schedule that will help messes from being your focus.
If your guilt stems more from not spending enough time with your kids, or giving them individual attention, schedule date nights once a month with each child so you can focus completely on them and give them the extra love you are feeling guilty about. Or I think we would all be surprised what just 10 minutes of one on one time during the day would do for our people.
It’s not always easy, but taking a step back and making simple changes, can really eliminate the negative from creeping in. I’m really trying hard to just make small simple changes and focus on the good. I want to thank you all for your dm’s, emails and suggestion about this subject. I really tried to include everyone’s suggestions and opinions. Thank you for your love and support here in this space + for all your friendships!!